Friday, May 25, 2012
Hello everyone, I want to apologize for my almost May long delay from my "regularly scheduled" blog posts (which may be a relief to some) but I've been really lazy and posting things I had saved for a rainy day. There have been quite a few rainy days the last few weeks - weather and mood wise for moi. I try super hard not to make posts like these but I usually tend to feel better after I do share them so bring on the (hopeful) catharsis.
I've been having quite a hard time the last few weeks, depression is something I'm use to but it doesn't tend to last this long. I do seem to get stressed out after my birthday because it always seems to be a trying time of year and I admittedly am a bit freaked out about getting older and not having any sort of life plan. I've been on the search for a job but it is not going well, it seems like the majority of applying online leads nowhere (or just an increase in the oddities that fill a spam folder) but there doesn't seem to be quite any other way to find a proper office job. I'm not going to give up looking but it is hard, I feel like I'm always waiting by the phone/email screen for some positive news. Money is obviously tight with only one income, tighter because I tend to overspend when I'm feeling morose and even if I wasn't feeling morose, neither my fiance nor I are very good with managing our finances... but my biggest stress has been my living situation, which has been an on-going issue because I don't really get along with my one roommate and he recently quit his job and is now always home. When I get down like this I tend to need my alone time to think, relax, and be with my thoughts and it's hard to have that when you're sharing a house with three other people, even harder when you don't get along with one of them. There is always noise, mess, disorganization, rotting food, someone running water when you decide to take a shower, someone sitting on the couch when you have to walk by to get to the kitchen (this really sucks when your hair is a mess and you don't feel like putting on a bra), etc. The area we live in so outrageously priced - it's a miracle to find a 1 br/1 ba for under $1200 a month minus utilities and HOAs - that finding a place of our own is damn near impossible, so the only real option is to wait it out, move out of the area, move back in with my mom (who runs a daycare out of her home), or move into another shared home. I feel like I can't take another day here, let alone another few months - I've already lived here for 3 years and been pretty uncomfortable the entire time. This just doesn't seem to be the place for me, I haven't had much luck in any of my endeavors here. I don't want to be rich, I just don't want to be struggling every week to feed ourselves and keep a roof (or in this case, noisy ass roommates) over our head. I know this is a struggle felt by many and I know I could have it much worse than I do, trust me, I have that thought constantly but it doesn't make any of this easier. I feel like a cloud has moved (um *knock, knock*... Mr. Cloud, the rent? It's due) into my head, my speech and thoughts are blurred and I have a hard time even remembering how to spell simple words - even though I am typically a good speller, my grammar on the other hand has always been shit.
On top of all that crap I've been feeling really negative about myself, I'm always my own worst critic but lately I just feel so insecure, like 13 year old with acne and increasing cup size insecure. I feel like I'm the size of a small country and I feel like I hear very few positive words from anyone - exception of my fiance. I hate feeling like I have to be happy-go-lucky all the time when inside I'm a mess but I hate venting to my friends so I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. I'm afraid to be negative because I'm afraid it will make people not want to be around me. I feel very lost and uncertain and I feel like I've become a prisoner of my own mind/emotions. Today has been the most positive day I've had in weeks so hopefully I'm digging myself out of the trenches. Apathy still seems to be the act on the main stage but hopefully I'll be able to throw enough stuff (positive shit, y'all) at ol' Apathy to get her off.
I know this is not the most fun post to stumble into so if you're reading this, thank you for listening to me! If you're new to my blog (oh hay), please don't judge me based on this post alone - I'm usually very cheerful.
On a more (more? let me use ctrl+f to find the other positive moments in this post) positive note, I've been watching Roseanne lately and I totally forgot just how bloody (yes, I'm using more and more British terms lately) brilliant the show is. Oh, and Eddie Izzard, he has shined some fierce sunshine rays into my life as well. I sincerely hope everyone has a fabulous Memorial day, Summer is fast approaching my dearies - heat... yuck. Go see some fireworks, speaking of ... I hope to see some fireworks myself, shiny things make everything better.
Labels: apathy , boo , dark clouds , depression , eddie izzard , increased usage of british terms , insecurities , mental illness , post birthday blues , rainy day , roommate crap , roseanne , shiny things | 11 comments
Monday, May 21, 2012
It is another movie inspiration post, yay, click your jawbreakers together girls. This weeks movie inspiration is the one, the only - Jawbreaker. This movie is one of my biggest guilty pleasures, I remember riding my bike to Blockbuster to rent the movie and pick up some care bear gummi bears repeatedly through Summer break, my brother and I were obsessed with this movie. It's a movie based in high school but in the way Hollywood does it, so no one carries books and the entire student body looks legal drinking age. The movie is about a clique of popular girls who pull a prank on one of their friends and accidental kill her. It's a dark comedy reminiscent of 'Heathers' starring Rose McGowan, Rebecca Gayheart, Julie Benz, Judy Greer, and Pam Grier. The girls have a killer sense of style (no pun intended) and pretty much walk around looking like their weapon of choice, candy. Not only do they have fabulous clothes but fabulously decorated bedrooms and a pretty awesome looking prom with the musical stylings of The Donnas. The soundtrack is one of my favorites as well, I can't even tell you how many times I've listened to it, I'm surprised it still works. So without further delay, onto the show:
First off, there's Courtney (Rose McGowan), whose character is described as "satan in heels" and she has one of the most (in my opinion) enviable wardrobes, not to mention some fabulous lines throughout the movie. I love her characters style, it could be described as a mix between 50's innocence and 90's glam goth.
Jawbreaker Inspiration - Satan in Heels "Courtney" by honeysuckelle featuring a long sleeve cropped cardigan
Next is Courtney's henchman and "a legend in her own little mind", Marcy "Foxy" Fox (Julie Benz) whose style would make any Stepford wife drool with envy.
Jawbreaker Inspiration- Legend in her own lil Mind "Foxy" by honeysuckelle featuring a floral print dress
Then there's Julie (Rebecca Gayheart) who decides popularity is not enough to keep the friendship going with the two remaining girls after her best friend, Liz's death.
Liz Purr (Charlotte Ayanna) is only briefly shown before her untimely demise but is described as "teenage perfection."
Last but not least is Fern "Vyette" Mayo, a geeky girl who uncovers the girls deeds so she is rewarded with a killer makeover and popularity by her very own Dr. Jekyll, Courtney. She spends the majority of the movie dressing like Barbie on acid and is played by the talented, Judy Greer.
It is one of those movies you just have to watch once (or in my case 949204 times), it is the1990's in all it's glory, you just can't miss it. Anywho, I hope you like the outfits, don't forget to comment below and words to the wise; don't eat a giant jawbreaker while watching a movie in the theater, it might make your boyfriend contemplate changing aisles.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Hey there, my unsuspecting guinea pigs! Get ready to face the wrath of my excessive free time...don't get scared, it's just my Polyvore addiction rearing it's two headed lizardy goodness. Sometimes I create outfits based on some of my favorite characters from movies and television and I thought, hey, that might make a good post (possible feature?). Maybe? No? Shut up and get in the van?
The inspiration for this post (and polyvore sets) were the characters Rebecca and Enid from one of my favorite movies, Ghost World. Now if you haven't seen Ghost World... what is the matter with you? (I'm joking but still sort of judging you, still joking). The story basically revolves around these two social outsiders played by Scarlett Johansson (Rebecca) and Thora Birch (Enid), who have just graduated high school and are trying to figure out what they want to do with their lives, who they want to be, and who they want to be around. The movie is hysterical and also stars Steve Buscemi. The girls have a pretty unique sense of personal style that also demonstrates their evolving sense of self throughout the film. Rebecca plays the more seemingly approachable one and Enid is more of the eclectic. I'm no Hemingway so I apologize for the lackluster descriptions.
I'll start with Rebecca, whose style in the beginning of the movie consists mostly of shorts, boots, and simple shirts but as the show goes she starts wearing more feminine, classic, vintage inspired things. I know it is a small picture but I adore the green dress she wears in the picture above (bottom, right corner).
Here were my outfit inspirations for Rebecca:
I have to admit, I had more fun figuring out outfits for Enid, it is mentioned in the movie that Enid goes through "phases" with her style, including a punk phase and a "little old lady" phase. I like how both girls have their own sense of style, they dress how they want to dress, and I feel like they don't let other people or their friends influence what they wear - they wear what they wear because they like it.
Anywho, I hope that if you haven't seen the movie I've inspired you to see it. I'd also like to know if you guys think maybe I should make this a weekly, bi-weekly, monthly, etc feature here and also I finally signed up for it so, Follow my blog with Bloglovin.
Labels: Enid Coleslaw , Ghost World , inspiration , movie style , movies , polyvore , possible feature | 18 comments
Thursday, May 10, 2012
|I love this, it reminds me a bit of my little sister / Credit - Mnon|
|Holocaust Survivors from the Immigrant ship, Exodus / Credit - Live From Jerusalem|
|Verona, Italy / Credit - Bright.Bazaar|
|Ambre Jaraud Darnault|
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
In one of my last entries I talked about my "home city" of Baltimore and ever since then have been feeling a little homesick, which is kind of strange for me because I've had sort of a rocky relationship with Baltimore. Sometimes I feel I get too caught up in being one of those people who feels like the grass is greener on the other side since I spent the majority of my youth wishing to be anywhere but where I was but I think the real problem is I've become immune to the beauty, quirk, and individuality of the place I'm from. Most of the time when I tell people I'm from Baltimore they either say something like "I'm sorry" or "I would have never guessed", apparently my only tell tale sign of this is the fact that I unconciously add an "r" sound when I say wash. I think most people are guilty of being a bit color blind (so to speak) at times when it comes to a place we've lived for a long time. There is so little of Baltimore I've actually explored despite having grown up outside of it for most of my life and they're places I've been but haven't accurately adsorbed because of either the gap in time of going or because I went after I had a little too much hooch, if you know what I mean. I've never actually drank hooch, just in case you were wondering, I don't think I would even know hooch if I saw.
But the way I see it is despite it's problems (which are pretty numerous unfortunately), any city that has the likes of John Waters, Edgar Allan Poe, and inspires people like Mary Prankster can't be all that bad. Baltimore is definitely a unique city, which you might have already gathered from the infamous films of John Waters (Cry-Baby, Hairspray, and Serial Mom are some of my favorites). Baltimore is not all violence, drugs, crime (ala 'The Wire'), or quirk (every John Waters movie) - it has many sides to it. One thing that can be said for Baltimore is it certainly has character. I guess my point here is to give your hometown a chance, see all it has to offer and then try to think of it fondly when you move on. I'm trying to do that now, with not only my hometown, but my current city.
Oh and since I mentioned Mary Prankster I have to share some of her awesomely poignant music.
I hope that some of you will make a trip to visit Baltimore one day, go to The Baltimore Aquarium, eat at Papermoon, see a movie at The Charles Theatre, and explore the areas of Fells Point, Hampden, and further.
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Oh Hai there, I sit here before the glow of the computer screen.. another year older, it feels... um, the exact same as being a year younger. However, if there is a Genie reading this I will totally shave a few years off my age - not as a wish though, a perk perhaps? Since I'm on the subject of age, I was surprised (and delighted) to know that everyone that I celebrated my birthday with thought I was a good 3-5 years younger than I actually am. My tales of events in celebration of my birth continue (that sounded a wee bit formal...), my boyfriend surprised me with two separate dinner get togethers with friends; On Sunday I had prime rib, sprinkles with a smidge of ice cream, and adult conversations with Jamie, Christina, and Paul. Then on Monday we drove to Old Town Alexandria for risotto and Lord of the Rings cake with Darrell and Alexia. Alexia is an actress and was telling us about her latest projects, including how awkward it is to film a sex scene and the struggle of keeping a straight face through an interpretative play whilst wearing a slip. After dinner the four of us went to Walmart where I bought some toys (yes, more Monster High) and we had a brief Hula Hoop contest. As usual I forgot to take pictures of my birthday loot but I did however get around to taking pictures of my hair which I'm happy to report is still vibrant, those notoriously fading red tresses are marching on.
Tuesday was a low-key but awesome day of running errands, window shopping, dinner, fountain watching, and another 'Cabin in the Woods' viewing. On Wednesday, our cat Hero puked all over the bed including my boyfriends head and my arm, it was certainly an unexpected way to wake up. Hero seems to be feeling fine so I just attribute it to his fondness for licking tape, plastic, carpet, Monster High doll hair, ... pretty much anything else that isn't nailed down. It is times like these that I feel like we have actual human children instead of furry ones. Another weekend is set to begin for me in a few hours (once my boyfriend gets off work), my boyfriend has band practice and I have shopping to do so I will be back soon with loot pictures! I'm still debating whether or not to buy these jeans, this dress, and or this skirt. I'm trying not to go too insane in the clothes department since I just broke my closet for good (the railing in the closet had decided it had enough and quit without notice, bastard...). Speaking of excessive amount of clothes, I'm hoping to start a shop here soon to get rid of some things I never wear, would anyone be interested? I think it's about that time where I post awkward self portraits I took to try to showcase my hair, I took about 2 pictures with a smile that didn't read as "something smells in the science lab again".
This last one was just an excuse for me to wear these adorable sunglasses.
Labels: birthday , friends , hula hoop tales , kitties , monkey , monster high , redheads for the win , shark vs cupcake | 14 comments
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