So this reality stick I mention, It would basically be like a magic wand (yes, I said it, MAGIC WAND) that once a person is smacked with it they magically come down to earth and quit whatever unrealistic thing they were partaking in before that and then would utter the phrase "oh, that was silly, thank beejeebles for that reality stick inventor." We're all naive, unrealistic, or dreamy at times and I mean this is coming from someone who forgets what day of the week it is almost daily - I'm not kidding, about 10 minutes ago I seriously had to check whether it was Wednesday or Thursday. I'm still suspicious of this implication that it is Wednesday, hmmm.

Mustacho dude from 'Real Estate Intervention'

What sparked this conversation is my excessive stalking of Redfin on the search for houses and in the search to be a bit of a peeper into other peoples decor. Often, I myself need to be smacked with the reality stick, for example I have an entire folder labeled "Houses to keep eye on price" (look at that word usage, mmm) and most of the houses within that folder are a good $30,000 plus out of our price range. BUT I wouldn't seriously try and go bid on those houses, I just like to fantasize that they will significantly lower their price and in this market it does happen from time to time but rarely does it happen with my favorite houses and it happens even less with homes with dream kitchens - boo. I watch too many of those HGTV real estate shows and there is one with a mustacho clad dude who always has to politely tell people "you're being unrealistic" which he never really says. He just has reality smack them in the face by having them view homes that have sold and homes that do get positive feedback. I personally would have a hard time not going "Um clean and de-clutter your house and lower your damn price, it is not that complicated."

I mean I really want to shout at the listings, if you want your house to sell and want people to look at your house, include pictures in the listing, I never understand the lack of pictures. During my house search I have even looked at homes that had limited or confusing pictures in the listing that were much nicer in person and I never understand it. The lack of pictures makes it seem like it is going to be a lot worse (like in the movie 'Jumanji' when the house became the amazon jungle inside with crocodiles and a water way)  than it probably is. Granted some houses definitely used pictures to their advantage because than you get there and realize there is a softball sized hole in the bathroom floor. Or another pet peeve of mine is when people include the oddest assortment of pictures, why would a close up picture of someones banister reel me in? Why is leaving your kids toys everywhere the best impression to leave? I mean shove that shit in a closet, it's not that hard, not the banister - that would be hard to do.


Now I must say, I'm a sucker for two things that absolutely do not matter at all in home pictures and those things are: pumpkins! I seriously love pumpkins, they remind me of fall and if the are placed lovingly on the front porch/stoop/what have you of a house I instantly like the house more. If I could, I would seriously do my own version of 'Groundhog Day' where I just live out the month of October over and over again. I LOVE Fall, the love I have for Autumn cannot be described in words. It is silly though when I think about it because I mean the pumpkin doesn't come with the house and I could purchase a pumpkin to place in front of any house I end up choosing. So yes, it is silly.


The second thing is when home listings include pictures of someones pet, I can't help it, I see a cute picture of a dog or cat and I'm like "aww" and consider the house that much more. But see yet again, it is silly because it is not as if the pet comes with the house. My boyfriend and I have looked at homes and I have actually felt guilty for not choosing a house because there was a really cute and friendly cat that greeted me (and in one instance a neighborhood cat actually tried to jump in my lap as I was getting in my car). Another for instance, there was this house (cute house that has now sold) that had a picture of the homes dining room and in the corner a cat sleeping in a basket, every single time I looked at the listing I pointed out the cat in the basket to my boyfriend who shook his head and went "Uh huh, cat not included."

I really had a point here, I think my main point is house searches are filled with questions. I cannot wait to start looking at houses again, this time our looking will be more serious but I have to wait until the family drama smooths over before I can even plan on looking again. I'm just hoping by the time we get around to being able to look at homes again, that all the house we are interested in haven't sold. Is anyone out there looking for their first home? Or just recently bought a home/condo/townhouse? Or want to share real estate gripes and stories of real estate adventures?

Oh and of course, the reality stick would work for situations outside of home stuff.

Halo watching 'Ninja Assassin'

Yesterday evening the boyfriend, cats, and I all watched 'Ninja Assassin' which we all enjoyed (Hero ignored).

Today I went through the fridge and cabinets, I go into the kitchen here (of which I share with my two other roommates excluding my boyfriend) probably less than everyone else but decided to finally throw stuff out (I even came prepared with latex gloves) and I almost barfed. I swear we're not dirty ragamuffins (no one in the house is really THAT dirty), I just personally forget what we buy! I think I have decided once and for all, I am no longer buying perishable items while I live here. I don't expect other people to throw out anyone elses stuff but if it is clearly no longer edible, throw it out, it just making it gross for everyone else. Same should go for everyone. I know I'm part of that problem but why can't it just be a house rule to keep the kitchen tidy for the better good of everyone, ya know like one person cleans one week and another person cleans the next. When I first moved here, I use to clean my ass off (mopped floors, vacuumed entire house, cleaned kitchen, organized, etc) but after awhile it just seemed unfair because no one else did so I stopped and it still bugs me because now no one ever really cleans. Ah roommate crap. I just cannot wait for Jason and I to be in our own place so at least then the only people I can get annoyed with over the mess is the cats, him, and myself. I mean I already do that but ya know.

I really want to look at houses again. For awhile there we were going every (or every other) weekend. I miss it.

So I haven't actually made much mention of this fact, especially since because of financial reasons we haven't been looking much as of lately, but my boyfriend and I are looking for a house/dwelling that we will hopefully move into by Springtime. For awhile we were looking on a pretty consistent basis especially since I adore our real estate agent, Mary. But after houses we were falling in love with were selling (which caused tears on my end, flippin brat) and we spoke to a lender who pretty much told us we needed to pay off some past credit issues before we could move forward. So sigh, here we are, I don't stalk Redfin as much as I use to because as previously mentioned I would get very upset when a house I had a crush on ended up with someone else. I do however check up on some bookmarked houses to see about any changes in price or activity, I was always under the impression and told that Winter was a slow time for the real estate market but um, I have seen sale pending and under contracts pop up on many of my bookmarked homes. I'm happy the little houses are finding owners but I want that owner to be ME, rawr! Plus, I have to say, I really like looking at houses. Thus far there has been 3 houses my boyfriend and I have really loved and all three are gone now. Not gone like obliterated, just sold or no longer on the market. Another of our issues, besides finances (which is a bit important huh?) is that we don't really know where we want to end up. We need to be within a reasonable distance of family, friends, and of course my boyfriends work BUT I'm really not fond of Virginia (to be honest) and it's really expensive around here. Now is a good time with the real estate market in the shitter to be a buyer but the market seems to be slowly getting back on that pogo stick.

It has been an adventure of looking for houses in two different states and pondering a third state. We have two real estate agents because one serves one state and one serves another. We have been toying with the idea of getting a Virginia real estate agent but I'm reluctant because I really haven't had the best time here. I mean I like the shopping (when I can afford to shop) and it's quiet, but it's so expensive and so stressful (the traffic is horrendous). I want to end up around maybe Frederick or possibly (don't drop your drink, if you're drinking that is) West Virginia. Yes, I said it, WEST VIRGINIA. Lookie here, because we've gotten a lot of strange looks when we utter those words to our Maryland and VA residents but WVA (I'm getting lazy, sorry) is inexpensive, you can acquire a great deal of land, and get more for your money. Damn judgmental bastards, I'm kidding, I love you all (*shakes head* most of you, I'm still joking, I can't help but joke -it's an issue).

I mean I don't have a job so unfortunately we our relying on one income but luckily my boyfriend is approved for enough that we can look at a decent amount of houses. I mean it could always be more, but isn't that always the case with money? So yes, I'm not sure if you're still following but so our issues are: credit issues, me have no job/me bum bum, location, and we like two different styles of homes. Jason likes spring chickens; new homes with large rooms and a full basement for him to take over with musical instruments and pictures of wolves. That is all dandy, I would not turn down a brand new colonial with central a/c (you have no clue how many  houses don't have a/c I guess I'm spoiled because I was shocked when I first found that out) and you know more than one full bathroom (which a lot of older homes do not). But I personally like older homes. Older homes have more history and more charm, I especially would LOVE to end up in a home that is on the National Register of Historic Homes. I love all the details in older homes such as pocket doors, built in cabinets, arches, eccentric kitchens, stained glass, and the hardwood floors are everywhere.

Both newer homes and older homes have their disadvantages, newer homes are kind of cookie cutter, most newer homes are built to look exactly like all the other damn homes all over the country. Newer homes don't have history, except for maybe stains from the last  rugrats that lived there. Older homes have no basements, usually they have scary as hell cellars (seriously been in some scary cellars of homes we've looked at, one was covered in spider inhabited spider webs it was ahhshsdhfdshdaahhhhrealmonsters). Older homes are prone to settling, small bathrooms, limited bathrooms, small closets, older windows, usually no a/c, and generally need more renovations and repairs. I know all of this but I love older homes! Jason wants a basement to turn into a music studio to help with noise control and so it can be his own area where his band can practice and in an older home he'd have to covert one of the bedrooms which he does not seem to want to do.

Le sigh, le sigh. I feel like it's never going to happen and I'm such a home junkie so this is something I have dreamed of my entire life. To be perfectly frank, I never thought I would even be able to consider having a house I could call my own. I thought at best I'd have an apartment or a townhouse but a house seemed like a dream. It still is a dream at this point. I can stretch my tongue out and taste it but I don't get to take a bite. Not yet at least. It's just hard to save money when things keep popping up and we have to pay rent. Right now we rent out a basement and the carpets are filthy, none of the furniture besides a tv/tv stand/bed is ours and the furniture is fugly (you ain't got no alibi, yo' ugly, yo' ugly couch). Oh and as mentioned the shower is teeny tiny.

Another issue presented is I don't want my boyfriend to have to have a super long commute but at the same time I don't want to live around where he works and frankly we can't even afford to live outside where he works. I try not to focus on the house search because it felt a little overwhelming and disappointing. I admit I will cry tears of complete joy when we end up in our own place. I can't wait to decorate, oh holy beetlejuice, I cannot wait. I can't wait to throw dinner parties, have people over, get drunk at my own house, walk around in my underwear whenever I feel like it... I just can't wait for it.

Ugh Hero, my black cat, just ate pieces of the rubber off my head phones. How is that even a good idea cat?

Well so I figured I'll go a little into detail (do you ever stop talking? the answer is KEINE, keine, KEINE!) about the three houses we both liked:

*White home, two pitched peaks (I don't know how to describe that), it was across from a graveyard in a Civil War historic area which I loved. I love graveyards, I find them fascinating, as a kid I wouldn't even look at them they made me feel sad and now they fascinate me. Anywho, the house was built in 1935. It was renovated with central a/c, two bathrooms, and a partially finished basement. It had a somewhat enclosed porch off the living room that I looooooooved and in the backyard it had an in ground pool. Ugh I just loved that house. The kitchen had cabinets that went all the way to the ceiling (it needed new counter tops, new appliances, a paint job) and the living room had a cute fireplace. Oh how I miss the crap out of that house. When I first put it on the list of houses to see it was more out of curiosity but when I walked through the door to smells of pie and pine I fell in love. That house didn't sell they just took it off the market so I hope they will put it back on but the basement was too small for my boyfriend to use as a studio, the houses were really close together, and the garage area let in too much air. My boyfriend wasn't crazy about it but I loved it.

Light in kitchen with kitchen cabinets in the background. I don't want to post too many pictures since I'll tear up and it's not my house so I can't really.

Part of the graveyard, view from front yard and the tippy top of my boyfriends noggin.

See side porch of love? And the odd garage area. Such a cute house. It reminded me of the house on beetlejuice, although I don't think anyone else saw the comparison.

*The second house was also a home I put on the list out of curiosity, I don't even remember the address because my boyfriend and I were so bummed when it went off the market only days after we saw it. It was in WVA, on I believe 1-2 acres of land. The house use to operate a saddle ranch so it had stables and horse fences (lol I don't know what they're called) and it was near a bunch of other saddle ranches. I was really surprised but my boyfriend loved the house. It had a somewhat rustic vibe to it which isn't our style at all, but it was BIG. It didn't have a basement but it had a really large area off the left "wing" of the house that would have worked for him. It needed a lot of inside work especially in the kitchen but WVA has a lot of incentives to get ya to buy there. When you walked in it almost looked like a ski lodge with real wood beams and a huge stone fireplace. It was really cool. I hope the new owners are happy (fuck faces). My boyfriend was a sad panda when it sold.

the fireplace went all the way to the ceiling, which was very high.

view of the front of the house from my car. It was definitely a unique house.

Backyard view. A white horse greeted us while we were there but I guess he hadn't arrived yet for this photo-op.

Oh there is the horse picture. Look at him, he was all like "Whaddup.". I did try and walk over to him but my boyfriend pulled the leash back, well he did tell me no.

*The third house was the newest, built in maybe 2005, and the most generic but it had upstairs laundry, columns (which me love), a cute stone fireplace, open kitchen with a sink in the island, and a big full basement. It was a cutie. We both liked it. The backyard kinda sucked but otherwise it was a nice house.

view from front door off dining room.

open living room area.

So yep, we haven't looked at any houses since December. I'm pretty sure our West Virginia real estate agent thinks we've given up but I will keep on trucking and begging my boyfriend to sell his sperm for some cash.

I have a few houses I keep my eye on but the houses are going fast, I think finally people realized "oh the prices are really low, I can get a kick ass house for a reasonable price." They weren't suppose to figure that out till I got MY house of choice :( At least the foreclosed houses that sold (most of the houses were foreclosures, which is unfortunate) are now (hopefully) occupied and cared for. I'll keep on looking, searching for deals, searching for a keeper and dreaming of walking around my very own house in my underwear.

There is one house I will to go down in price almost everyday, it is a good $50,000 out of our price range (only that little huh?) but it has been on the market for awhile with no activity. It is GORGEOUS darling, gorgeous. I would kill, literally kill, for that house. The kitchen alone is a beaut.

So yeah, dream a little dream with candles and hardwoods, columns, and porches. Hmm hmm. One day...