I finally saw 'Jurassic World', my husband and I had planned on seeing it in 3D but then we got there, bought the tickets, and then the theater was down. However, we just saw a later showing and I got to explore a fancy-shmacy grocery store nearby (I was really tempted by some midnight brownie cookies but I couldn't bring myself to spend $4.99 on a tiny bag). I remember seeing the first movie in a crowded theater when I was a little kid, we sat in the two front seats with my mom and stepdad and my brother and I basically had to sit on the floor. I liked Jurassic World but not as much as I liked Jurassic Park. I'm going to buy it when it comes out either way. Also Chris Pratt is yummy, like really yummy, I don't mean that in an edible way (dinosaurs might think so... but not I).

I tried to dress Dino themed but I realized I had no clothing or accessories that are dino themed. BOO, you whore. I need to work on that. So I improvised and wore a lip shirt to improve my visible tastiness to dinosaurs all around (I'm making that up, I just liked the shirt and just recently bought it) and lots of green accessories (of which you can't see in any of my pictures but... I did). I even wore my galaxy chic palette in asteroid, comet, and meteor as a nod so to speak. 

I will be doing a current post soon but I figured a Clever Girl post was necessary. Rawr.

 

When I was younger and first starting to grow into my lady business (boobs, hips, butt, all those sort of thangs) I was really uncomfortable with it. I honestly felt like a freak for having such large boobs and hips, I'm not actually sure what bra size I wore back then because I without a doubt wore the wrong sizes. I forced myself into sizes that were too small because I didn't want to accept how large my boobs were. Not only did I feel like a freak for being "shapely" I felt masculine for being tall and large. I wore all baggy clothing for years, I was so uncomfortable showing off my freakish curves. Most of the popular girls in school or the images of women in the media that were seen as "beautiful" were tiny/small/petite/athletic/tan. I was none of those things. The popular girls were between a size 0-4. I was already a size 10. I hated my body, I hated when people commented on my boobs or my "hourglass shape" because in my mind they were just nicely saying I was fat. I would get remarks from adults like "you should embrace your hourglass shape, men love it and most people would kill for that shape" but it didn't seem that way to me! It didn't seem that way in the real world and I was still really young and not comfortable with the attention my curves would get me. As I got a little older I started to embrace it, I wore tight clothing and got looks and remarks and I dug it. I didn't dig people in school telling me "you think you look good, but you are ugly" or "why are you so big?" or "no one wants to see you wearing that" when I was wearing a mini skirt and tight sweater. I wore a size 10/12/14 through all of high school and was called fat and unattractive more times than I can recall by the school bullies. Any self confidence I had in my shape seemed to piss some people off. On the opposite end of the spectrum I was flirted with often by my guy friends or older men but in general I just seemed to scare boys. I really let it get to me but I kept dressing the way I liked, I became a bit obsessed with dressing nicely to be honest. I would spend so much time and money wanting new outfits and wanting to look lovely every day, even if I was cold or uncomfortable. I rarely if ever wore pants, I don't even think I owned a pair of pants for yearrrss. It was all skirts and dresses. I started slowly opening up to wearing pants, buying pants that fit regardless of what the size on the label read, and be comfortable enough to wear comfortable clothing in public without feeling ashamed or gross or what have you. 

Now I think I've found a good balance. I don't always love my body, we all have our good days and bad days. I dress up when I feel like it and dress more casually when I feel like it. I find comfort important and don't think that being comfortable means having to sacrifice "style". I try not to wear revealing clothing in inappropriate places like work but it is a bit hard to hide my curves and cleavage, they kind of show in everything. I'm even comfortable enough to show up to work and go out in public with *gasp* NO MAKEUP.

I still spend a lot of money on clothes, I still really love shopping, I still struggle with loving my body but I think that is a struggle (that last part anyway) that we all have during our lives. I'm more interested in being kind to myself and others, trying to embrace the body I was born with, and always trying to improve.

I did good this season, Jason bought us the Xbox One and Dead Rising 3 (rooock, I love that series) and the new Assassins Creed. I also received a pretty pink bicycle, some various Nightmare Before Christmas things, and I won $53 from a scratch off ticket, so I made out quite well (that's what she said). I am a lucky girl. 

I also am returning to the big bad ass apple that is New York City in a few weeks! I'm going to see one of my favorite bands in Brooklyn and spend the rest of the days exploring. Speaking of exploring can anyone confirm that two of the H&M's in the city carry the plus size line? I am desperate for some H&M apparel. Oh, I also meant to mention that Lane Bryant is having a great sale on bras. Why am I mentioning this, well, my good bra broke a little bit ago and I was in desperate need for a new one and I found that not only was there a buy two bras get two bras free sale but also that Cacique now goes up to H cup! I was way excited, I even got to try on a bra in a store for the first time in years. So don't miss out, the sale ends on the 20th of this month.

Hey, look, a selfie! My weight loss journey is improving too, it has been rather stagnant for awhile but I'm now down officially 35lbs so that ain't bad. The only bad thing is a lot of my beloved clothes are becoming too big, I'm going to have to start ebaying my old clothes or something.

Considering how often I post these days I should come armed in my next post with NYC photos so stay tuned!