Monday, June 17, 2013
I can't. stop. watching. Dark Shadows (yes, the Tim Burton movie). This problem is probably exacerbated by HBO programming. Thanks a lot HBO, there goes another soul you have riddled with addiction!!
Poll time: Are you a rock and roll or a carpenter's chick?
My main question here is who doesn't have a penchant for woodworkers?! You know what they say, those who can work wood.... I'm just sayin'. See, I just implied that shit. Boobs made out of glass ARE love, right Barnabas. No question mark, it is not needed.
In other news, not related to Dark Shadows, my time has come.... I've joined a gang, two in fact. You will find me on a train in the 80's wearing a red leather vest and a thin and intimidating scarf tied around my neck.
Oh, and I'm stealing that bitch Babysitters gloves.
"Alright baby, chill out, shit".
Are kids out of school yet? I need to know whether or not they'll be on my routes. That and I also want to avoid them at all costs, they are sticky and annoying (most, ok, most are sticky). Stickiness, the kryptonite of train gang members.
Ugh, I really don't want to work out today. I pity the Wii's eyes (or eye so to speak) because if I am forced to do it I will give it the finger entirely too much.
I must also thank the inventor of the air conditioning, 80 degree weather and I don't like one another. I hate sweating without a purpose...
Labels: dark shadows, fuck you cardio, gang lyfe, glass bewbies, hbo, my breakfast was yummy, oh and fuck you sweat, tim burton | 2 comments
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Current nail color: Some sort of black with purple glitter, my toes are in serious need for repair (as always). I'm thinking of going with red or pink which is a bit out of the ordinary for me considering I almost always wear black with glitter.
Current playlist: Age of Consent - New Order / Dreams Never End - New Order / Let's Go (Nothing for me) - New Order / Nights in White Satin - The Moody Blues / Revelation Revolution - Rob Zombie / Theme for the Rat Vendor - Rob Zombie / Ging Gang Gong De Do Gong De Laga Raga - Rob Zombie (I was not typing all of that...) / The Girl who Loved Monsters - Rob Zombie / Smells like Nirvana - Weird Al
Current drink: Water, water, and more water. I couldn't find any mint at the grocery store, I wanted to make raspberry mint water. That reminds me, I need to get a muddler. I am, however, drinking my water out of a really cute cup.
Current food: Grapes and 4 Cinnamon Sugar Cookie Chips. So far all of the cookie chip flavors are delicious.
Current Favorite TV Show: Oddities, I have to visit that shop. Mad Men. GoT, of course. Beetlejuice Cartoon Season 1.
Current wish list: Wind chime // The Sims 3: Island Paradise (June 25) // Wall Mounted Record Player // Days of Future Passed - The Moody Blues // Boardwalk Empire: Soundtrack Season 1 // Funko Beetlejuice // Kinect and Workout games // Schwinn Cruiser (GIMMEEE) // Frank and Ernest by Alexandra Day - I loved this book when I was a kid and I could never remember what it was called till recently // Panache Sports Bra - The girls need support for light running // Wire Racks - to help organize my pantry // Monster High 13 Wishes Dolls // Monster High Music Festival Dolls // Monster High Headless Headmistress Bloodgood // Free People Tarot Cards // Free People Double Layer Rosary // Free People Zapoteca Pendant // Target Justice League Batman Plates - I've been looking for these everywhere and every single Target is sold out :(
Curren wish list (clothes + bag section):
Eshakti Color Tipped Sheath Dress // Eshakti Chevron Pleat Satin Dress // Eshakti Sash Waist Lace Frock // F21+ Geo Tribal Maxi Dress // Buckle Empire Waist Top in White // Buckle Chiffon Flyaway Cardi // Buckle Polka Dot Top // Buckle Cross Maxi Skirt // Buckle Studded Crossbody Fringe Purse // Free People Keep me Tee in Violet // Torrid Daisy Cami // Evans Lace Cardi // Evans Floral Dress - I've been looking for a floral dress that I like // Evans Heart Cardi //
Current needs: My motivation to return, I had a really shitty night Friday and I was in a state for most of Saturday as well.
Current triumphs: Working out 3 days this week, I plan on working out tomorrow as well to bring it to 4 days. I'm also amazed I'm already able to pull off some Pilates moves with ease, I'm getting stronger!
Current celebrity crush: Henry Cavill, always and forever, that man is stunning. I can't imagine walking around being that gorgeous...
Current indulgence: Internet browsing, obviously, considering my massive wishlist. The Sims 3, my addiction is only going to get worse when Island Paradise comes out.
Current blessing: Jason! Halo! Hero! A body that is quickly (mostly *grr*) adapting despite the shit I've put it through.
Current outfit: Grey and black stripped top (Target), black cardigan (who knows at this point), black skirt (Target), engagement ring, favorite earrings (Target), beaded necklace (Forever 21), and studded skull crossbody purse (Burlington Coat Factory).
Current excitement: Island Paradise. Monster University!
Current mood: Up in the air, really.
Current link: Boston Children's Hospital finds root cause for diabetes.
This is absolutely incredible, imagine what this could do for so many people!
Labels: current, monster high, music, too much cookie talk, weight loss, weight struggles, wishlist | 2 comments
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Around October I moved and started eating more healthy but not super consistently, using myfitnesspal to keep track of what I was eating. It didn't feel like it was working so I stopped using it for a few months around February but then around my Birthday I saw pictures of myself at my birthday party and knew I had to get off my ass. The next day I just decided to cut back on soda (my kryptonite), start working out regularly, keep track of what I eat, and allow myself one cheat day. I honestly don't know where the motivation came from or what came over me (I just hope I don't stop), It's partially determination to prove to myself that I can do it. It has only been six weeks since I've officially started this whole journey but 6 weeks is incredible for me.
I honestly see myself as having a pretty decent amount of self esteem, I know I am not everyone's cup of tea but I also know I am a damn good cup of tea. Most of the time I think "fuck em' if they don't like who I am, I will find someone who does" but it still stings. I know I'll never be a size 0 and I honestly don't want to be because it would be impossible, I can't change what my natural body type is. I'm not petite, I'm 5'9" and when I was a size 10 my hip bones protruded, even then people told me I was fat. It is still difficult feeling like I am rejected for being overweight or that I'm not good enough because of my weight or that I was allowed to be a punching bag because I was larger. I tend to turn to food for comfort and affection that I didn't get in my life. Luckily, my life is so different now, my fiance and friends are so amazing to me. I know my fiance loves me regardless of my size but it is really hard to cancel out all the negative feedback I've received in my life. I'd love to love my body completely.
I've struggled with my weight in one capacity or other my entire life, I honestly remember being uncomfortable in a Halloween costume when I was a little girl (6 or 7 years old) and I was a pretty thin child. But around the time when I was 10 years old (I think I was about 9 or 10 in this picture of me as a kid) I started gaining weight and growing breasteses and my friends started treating me differently. I don't know if I was acting differently because I was more insecure or if they were shying away from me because I was gaining weight or what. Around the time when I was 12 years old my friends completely shunned me and I had no friends for a good year, it was a lonely year and I turned to food and video games (inactivity) for comfort. I formed some pretty bad habits and I'm just now trying to change them.
On my Birthday when my fiance officially asked me to be his future bride when I was crying I also kept asking him if he was sure he wanted to marry me because I honestly lived so much of my life feeling like I would never be enough, that I'd never be good enough. When I turned to see everyone was staring at me I explained to them that I honestly thought that this day would never come because I thought no one would ever want to marry me with my skin that is scarred from having acne as a teenager, my light eyelashes and eyebrows, my jiggly arms and thighs. In the first picture (top picture), taken about two weeks ago, it is a huge deal that part of my upper arm is showing. I have lived with my fiance for 5 years now and he still has barely seen my arms, that is how insecure I am about them.
What am I doing to get in shape? Using myfitnesspal to keep track of what I eat and how much I exercise. I can't stress how much of a help myfitnesspal has been, I recommend it to anyone, not just those who are looking to lose weight. I used all sorts of "pay" diet plans in the past and they never worked for me and in turn I felt more depressed because I had wasted money and time.
I bought a water bottle and a Brita water pitcher that has been a huge help, I feel like my body is slowly starting to get accustomed to drinking the 6-8 glasses of water. I was having to run to the water closet every 30 minutes but I finally seem to be getting use to it. I've cut back on soda, allowing myself one a day IF I want it but I'm trying to get to the point where I only drink it on special occasions (last week I think I had 3 total). I buy lots of frozen vegetables and fruit, obviously fresh is better but it is hard to eat it all before it goes bad. Buy the big bags of apples, oranges, lemons (for flavoring water and meals), and whatever else you like. One of my favorite snacks is a cut up apple (I swear it tastes better cut up) with a tablespoon of biscoff spread, it tastes like an apple tart. Buy lots of nuts (hehe, nuts. I will never ever grow up): my favorites are whole and sliced almonds, pine nuts, and walnuts. Buy salad mixes, the darker green the better, they taste better anyway. One of my favorite lunches is a salad (arugula, radicchio blend) with a homemade lemon honey vinaigrette (super simple) some oranges, some parmesan cheese, and some pine nuts. It is honestly good. I am trying to use less granulated sugar and more honey but I'm not certain if that is better it just feels better. When I'm making dinner I try to make a portion for one person and then divide it amongst my fiance and I because I have a tendency to go back for seconds when I make a large meal. Oh, and smoothies. I absolutely adore my ninja blender and strawberry smoothies, they are delicious, use honey instead of sugar to sweeten it. I get really bored with food so I try to mix it up as I see fit but my staples are rice (just don't over do it), parmesan cheese (I LOVE parm), fresh apples or oranges, frozen strawberries, frozen broccoli, frozen asparagus, and chicken breasts. Oh, and more importantly, eat three times a day and eat healthy snacks when you're hungry. I honestly have a hard time with this.
For working out I've been doing YouTube videos (Pop Pilates is one of my favorites), and video game fitness stuff. I use the Wii and do tennis, boxing, and whatever that fitness one is called. The kickboxing/boxing and free run is a lot of fun. That's what I've mainly been doing besides walking either outside/shopping/or treadmill and a lot of them are fun! Oh, and get some free weights from Target/Walmart. I am looking to get some larger weights here soon. Almost everything I'm doing I can do at home which is perfect for me because like I said I am a bit of a loner, I don't like crowds, and I burn really easily but I'm looking to start getting out more often.
Add me on myfitness pal - rachelrrl. Also download the apps "Moves" and "Fitocracy", they are really great.
Well, wish me luck. I have lost 37lbs since my crappy Doctor appointment in September and I have a lot more to go.
Labels: birthday, damn good cup of tea, lifestyle changes, moves, myfitnesspal, size 16+, weight loss, weight struggles | 2 comments
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Man, it has been awhile, how is everyone? My apologies for the major delay in blogging, I originally took a break so I could work on fixing my blog (or telling my fiance to, whateves) but that hasn't happened so hopefully everyone can overlook the issues for now.
First off, I have to mention my birthday because it was one of my best birthday's of my lifetime. My birthday is at the end of April and my fiance surprised me with a fantastic surprise birthday party with so many of my favorite people. I felt so loved, I finally realized how much support and how many friends I actually have. I'm a bit of a loner in truth and I lived most of my life with a very small handful of friends, I struggle with trust issues from some truly shitastic experiences in my youth and it really felt amazing to have so many people who I know I can trust and be my foul mouthed, dirty minded, oddball self with. I got so many cute gifts, yes, including Monster High.
My birthday got even better when at the end of the night my fiance surprised me with a box that ended up having one major surprise in it:
I had no idea what this gift would be when I first started opening the box but it seems that everyone else seemed to have an idea because everyone gathered around me. I'm not sure if I started crying (*sigh* so damn cliche) before I opened the box with the ring or after but yes, tears were shed. I said yes and come to find out, my (now official) fiance had the ring for awhile now he says, he said he was waiting for the perfect opportunity.
Isn't it pretty? The Mister did good.
It was a truly magical Birthday. Since then there has been other huge developments, Jason got me another really awesome Birthday present (pictured below) and after seeing some unflattering pictures taken at my Birthday I decided to get off my ass and change my eating habits and start working out regularly. It has been 6 weeks and I'm doing well! Last week I worked out 6 days and didn't go over my calories with the exception of my one allotted cheat day. I plan on making another post all about that but I've had some progress and I feel fucking fantastic.
Shiny new walking machine, yay and yay. I'm a spoiled girl because not only that but I've gotten a few new things for the house and the joy that is the free phone upgrade (the iphone is finally mine).
New console table, new sparklified plant, new couches, new iphone, and new iphone case!
I hope everyone is doing well and in my next post I'm going to talk all about my lifestyle changes. Stay classy, whale vaginan's (get it? No, I just dirty? Otay).
Labels: birthdays, engagement, lifestyle changes, Monkey <3, new stuff, presents, shiny things | 2 comments
Friday, April 19, 2013
Hey there, so has anyone else heard of these Me-Ality booths? Basically it is a booth that you step into and in 10 seconds it takes your measurements and gives you fit/size advice based on your predetermined measurements at different stores. I first heard about it on facebook and after finding out that they had one in my local mall I decided to head over there to try it out. It was a super easy process, you just register with your email and then step inside to get measured and afterwards it prints out a little receipt with a barcode that the attendant scans and then it gives you a list of suggestions of clothing from different brands within your mall.
Well, it didn't really work for me (it literally did not have a single suggestion for me) because the stores they worked with at my mall, such as Banana Republic and Levi Jeans (which oddly enough is not at my mall) don't carry my size since I wear over a size 16. I wasn't really bothered by it at the time but as I've let it marinate it does sort of bug me because I mean more stores should cater to more clientele and also there was a part of me that missed my size 16 and smaller days. Even when I did wear a size 14/16 I had trouble with jeans/pants/button up tops because I am larger in my bust and hip/thigh area. I think it is a super cool idea, I just think we plus sized ladies could not only use more stores/brands to choose from but also are consistently faced with size differences from brand to brand, I literally have things in my wardrobe that are 5 different sizes which makes shopping more of a chore then it need be.
It took a good day (no clue why) for my email with a link to my profile (which you need to then set up your password) to come over for me-ality.com but from there it gave me some actual suggestions but again, because of my size, only linked me to a few suggestions from Torrid and Lane Bryant. I like shopping at Torrid and Lane Bryant, Torrid more so than Lane Bryant, however I wasn't really impressed by their sizing suggestions... I have been shopping at Torrid long enough to know my size by now and all of their suggestions were way bigger than I wear and when I have tried on the size they suggested to me it was not flattering and hung very loosely. Not only that but in terms of their suggestions, I had one jean suggestion from Torrid and no suggestions for pants or dresses (or intimates but I figured as much since I am currently a 40H) which are usually the things that are the toughest for me to find the ideal fit.
It is endlessly frustrating feeling limited and left out and it is a bit annoying being told to wear a size in tops and skirts that I know is too big for me. I really wish sizing was more standardized so we didn't have to run into the massive size differences but I suppose with trial and error we find out what brands flatter our unique figure and which don't. So I say, try out the me-ality booth for yourself and report back, I hope you have a better experience than I did.
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
I'm having trouble with my blog so bare with me :( Until then, I opened a shop on storenvy.com with more stuff and you can find it HERE. I am also working on perfecting my shop but all of the items are for sale and ready to be bought and sent to new homes - like pound puppies but not, since I don't have any pound puppies anymo'. I have entirely too many things that haven't been loved in awhile so go forth, shop and shop so more.
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
What I am looking to wear this Spring by honeysuckelle featuring adjustable rings
Spring has kind of sprung, or at least my Air Conditioning (note: it is capitalized for a reason and that reason is because it is fucking awesome) is on and my eyes constantly itch so that must signify that Winter is over? I put the question mark for a reason and that reason is the weather has been freakin' confusing lately and I don't want to jinx it. Changing temperatures are suppose to bring new wardrobe choices but I tend to throw caution, and sense, to the wind and wear the same things year around (flip flops a day before a snow storm? ...Never? Often... *nods with confidence*). This Spring I find my wishlists and eye drawn (dominated even, call in the troops) by the same few things over and over again so I thought I'd make a little collage! Yippie-yay-waikiki-COLLAGES! I'm sorta a fan of collages. To be fair, I've always been into the stripes, skulls/skull jewelry, and jeweled (sparkly) things but not always at the same wondrous time. The destroyed denim I always liked too but didn't think I could pull off with my portly thighs and thick calves but alas I like the look on me in most lighting. I also appreciate the pre-destroyed denim options because my DIY attempts on clothing have never really gone so well, I've had a few hot glue incidents in my day. I must say too, if you have any reservations about your belly/love handle region, like I do, then a good over-sized slouchy top is not only stylish and flattering but ridiculously comfortable. Comfortable in the sense that I think I exposed the entire back of my bra in a Mexican restaurant but I barely noticed because I was so comfy (I had no tequila that day, I swear). So even though I own things that fit all of these above categories, I am still on the search to add more of these to my wardrobe. The turquoise jewelry has gotta happen, I know that much, because I don't own a single piece. Owning more pants is always good too because I have a tendency to wear those things out, oh, the joys of large drumsticks. I'm pretty sure we've discussed societies tendency to look down upon the bottomless as well - buncha' prudes.
Labels: destroyed denim, I should sleep before I blog, shopping for sparkly stuff, skull jewelry, skulls, sparkles, stripes | 8 comments
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