Here it is, another new month, time flies by when you... owe rent money at the first of every month. Things have been a collection of good vs bad, stable vs insanity, cupcakes vs sharktopus - everyone knows the cupcake always wins.


I celebrated the birthday of the love of my life, my best friend, my furry baby daddy, and the metal God that is my fiance Jason. I love the pictures above, one is of him as a baby and he is so cute, look at that face! The other I took during one of his live shows while I was sick (awhile ago) and too lazy to walk closer to the stage but me-me-me-owwww. The birthday mention a'here is a wee bit late but we celebrated much over the course of this week.

With the good vs bad though, he was diagnosed with shingles several days prior to his birthday. He is on a lot of medication and in frequent pain, luckily this flare (hopefully there won't be many more to come) is on its last gasps of air from its death grip it has held on my poor Monkey's side/back. Not much is known to why some people get shingles and why others don't and it is unpredictable; it could come back any time, never again, and anywhere in between. But I love him very much and feel like the luckiest nutball in the world to get to have him in my life, he is the best man I've ever known, and he makes me so happy. He took the week off for his birthday and we pretty much celebrated all week, I'm pretty sure he felt like the prettiest girl at the ball sexiest metal God of the arena.

I can't.. not make jokes, its a damn obligation somehow.

This week included a lot of restaurants, movies, window shopping, hanging out with shnazzy people, some rants, shark week (his freakin birthday is during Shark Week, pfft, he gets all the cool animal shit for his birthday. Skank), and many amusing accidents (like when I almost broke my ankle because I failed to notice the 1 inch incline in the sidewalk whilst taking a picture).

I met a new friend, toy, toy I could not have, hand puppet who I thoughtfully (I had to search the confides of my brain, it was like searching for a lost Pharaohs tomb) named Rex the Sex.  

Tip: Add "the sex" to things, it works, one of the first jokes that caught me my Monkey was me joking about the Domino "the sex" Sugar sign in Baltimore. The Monkey flipped his hair, batted his eyes, giggled, and exclaimed "teehee, you're so funny." To which I nodded and winked, I knew I had him then :P

I have a thing for hand puppets, they amuse me, a couple of years ago I really wanted a beaver (not in hand puppet condition just regular stuffed animal) from Ikea. Year after that it was a squirrel and this year it is one of the last dinosaurs of the "borderassic" period. Every time my monkey gives me this look like "You're 23/24/25 I'm not buying you a friggin hand puppet you can constantly hump my arm with." Anyway, Rex the Sex and I walked around the store scaring the vultures who were drooling at the mouth over the poor demise of the Borders corp. Rex and I head banged in the Self Help section, did the robot in the CD aisle, laughed as he humped posters, and lastly I begged the Monkey to let me take him home. Monkey said no, as he usually does with coveted hand puppets, even insulting 'Rexy' saying he was in poor condition "look at the threads hanging down." BUT this (insanely lol ridiculous story, and I wonder why no one reads my blog) has a happy ending, Rex the Sex met a girl dinosaur, and they continued to mack in the children's section as I walked away.

Quick, someone photoshop a heart around their heads!

...Is anyone still there? *cricket, cricket*

I have bought a few things over the last two weeks I thought I'd share with you, now I must warn you, I think I've had a surge of I don't know, "silly power", so much so that I say asinine things like "SILLY POWER." If I could, no I mean I can, if I actually wanted to slap myself for this post, I would.Perhaps I've been in a time machine and my 10 year old self is in my body and I don't realize it. So onto those purchases I mentioned:

Rainbow necklace, me like the colors and I look dumb here.

Target flip flops, please (I beg you) ignore the state of my feet but I HAD to put up this picture because my Halo had to show off his feet too.

I also got two pair of Hello Kitty earrings from Hot Topic (almost made my boyfriend spit out his drink while I told him I had a brain fart and said "the hot... topic" like I had never heard of this little place before). A "ner ner ner ner, ner ner ner BATMAN" um, Batman t-shirt. A 'She Wants Revenge' cd, and lots of strawberry fanta. I think that is about all really. I lusted over many more things but since Target doesn't sponsor me to shop at their store for free, despite my continuous loyalty, I did not get anything else. Sad panda.

Target, listen to my words... You want to give me free shopping for life.... Me very, very loyal... I wear head to toe and even butt covered Target almost all the time... Gimme free access entirely to your store for lifeeee... Rachel needs more Target stuff... I'll get a Target bar code scanner tattooed on my heiney....

Awaiting Targets' CEOs email of free pass for life....

Oh, I discovered a local cupcake place, I had the oreo and it was delish. The place is called Edibles Incredible, visit it if you're in the area.


So I think I've been annoying, foolish, and pointless enough for one post. I leave you with one last cupcake (see the cupcake swallowed the shark whole and turned it into itself) imagery and a slow, horror movie villain wave. Be prepared because I have another post coming tomorrow. 




Clue is one of my favorite movies of all time. Shake it.