Friday, January 27, 2012
Modcloth


I'm not sure what I did to deserve this taunting from Modcloth but these dresses are gorgeous *pounds fist on table*! And out of my price range!.... My price range is clearance, dumpster dive finds, holding someone up with a butter finger disguised as a gun, etc. I do not have $175 (plus whatever shipping is) sitting around waiting to be applied to stunning dress purchases! So, I am going to ask again, what did I do to deserve such torture Modcloth? Wah. It is times like these that I wish I had a credit card so I could buy things I can't actually afford. I know no one is exactly climbing in the air ducts to seek advice from a lazybones like me but trust me, do not fuck up your credit. Just don't do it. When I was 18-19 I went nutso with credit cards and have regretted it ever since then, hence why I am credit card less now. Live and learn? Yeah, live and learn not to strangle your roommates because you can't get a place of your own. Roommates will drive you crazy over the tiniest of offenses, I'm completely convinced of this. Case in point, last night when I was making dinner, I had myself a very merry rant session and then had tears falling into my pasta all because of some comment about the trash. I even threw and kicked the empty pasta box *take that Barilla*. Oh hey Rachel, you got something showing, it's your crazy - might want to wash that off/go check a mirror.


I just started watching 'The Wire' and was really enjoying myself until beloved characters were getting "capped." I can't say capped with a straight face so I had to put it into quotations. It's not like the show bullet trained from puppies riding rainbows to gang violence, the show LITERALLY starts off with a murder, but I can't always gauge what is going to strike an emotional cord with me. Suffice to say tears were shed (more incidences of tears? geez...), it is a show full of tragedy, Baltimore is a rough city. I know the actual characters aren't real, however, I know that such things happen practically everyday in Baltimore. I'm from Baltimore, I lived in Arbutus (which is South West of Baltimore) until I was 7, and I watched the news every morning before school so I was/am aware of the cities problems. Don't get me wrong I partied in Baltimore with hardly a care in the world for years (moment to have flashbacks of shaking it) but now that I live in a place which has virtually no crime whatsoever, I realize just how bad Baltimore actually is. I'm kind of scared to go back, isn't that ludicrous? I always knew how the city was but now I'm scared of it, I wasn't scared at 18 when I was walking around in school girl outfits and such (not casual strolls mind you, it was to and from clubs/bars). Am I ridiculous or do other people get a little too emotionally involved in shows that represent true stories and places? SO because of all that, I've taken a hiatus from 'The Wire' watching because I'm just now getting over the Wallace incident.  That and one of my roommates locked themselves out this morning and was knocking on the back door and I literally woke up my boyfriend to get the door. I didn't know who it was, it was dark, and I know what happened in 'The Wire'! Tap, tap, tap.


WALLLLACE, he was just a boy! Between this show and 'Game of Thrones', just ugh, I'm too sensitivo for this whole TV drama watching business.



My boyfriend and I start our vacation in 16 days, roughly only two weeks away, and I still don't know what outfits to pack! Holy frankfurter (how does this frankfurter become a holy creature, is it elected or...?), I need to get on that. But I did find a few new things that I'm determined to decorate my body with whilst on this vacation, well and one thing that is too warm for Florida. I found a really simple black dress that will be good to wear or use as a cover up and it was only $2 mo-f'in dollars! I finally decided to give in and admit that I've always wanted a pair of red heart shaped glasses (Cliche? Check. DGAF? CHECK!) and found a pair for only $5 on ebay. While we were shopping for cat necessities during the week (speaking of cats look at Mr. Hero, what a cutie, d'aww) I found this great pink heart print top, it is a pajama top but throw a tank top under it and no one everrrr has to know - well, besides you guys of course *shifts eyes*. I love using Valentines Day to quench my uber-girlie need for bright colors and heart prints! Go-Go-useless-holiday!


In the interest of saving money we've been eating almost every meal at home and I made this really delicious rice dish - if you follow me on Twitter you might already know about it - but it was rice with lemon, basil, parmesan cheese, little butter, lots of garlic, and golden raisins! It was sooo good. I replicated the dish a few days ago adding onion and chicken, and still quite a keeper. Vegesaurus's, look away! Pretend the last picture never happened! The last meal I had to share because I'm American and it is my duty to share my meat and potato eatin'. That or I just really like steak, cheese, and potatoes. The last one rings more true.


Target delivered on the awesome promise once again. My boyfriend was not pleased ("how many coats does one girl need?" But it has ruffles and pockets!) that I found a black coat in the clearance section, yet again while shopping for necessities, it was originally $72.99 marked down to $21! It ties at the waist, ruffles at the bottom, and has pockets (I have two coats that don't have pockets and it drives me mad, how you make coat without pocket!). I'm so glad it came home with me, it is a bit too big but I like my coats with some extra square footage. Apologies for the bad pictures and the cat hair, my closet is jam packed so if I hung up my coats I'm pretty sure the bar would collapse (again) or snap in half...

Well, I'm hoping to get packed a few days before we leave and I was thinking of sharing tips for vacation packing for the plus sized gal, but that is only if I can actually successfully manage the whole thing. I wish these two cuties could come with, they look rather guilty of something... better go punish them with kisses.




Thursday, January 19, 2012

First off, I want to say Happy Birthday Ninja Blog! I got you all party hats! Now put it on and like it, or no cake! Anytime I say "Happy <insert special occasion here>" I picture someone in a corner, with a complete dead-pan look on their face, blowing on one of these little things -- what are these things actually called? Party blower (can't believe that doesn't bring up porn, all roads on the internet lead to porn, or that's what I've noticed) or noisemakers is all I could come up with *shrugs*.

I can't believe I started this blog a year ago. I had and still have no real expectations for my blog, I just wanted a place I could talk about things, meet and connect with all sorts of people from all over the world, and explore my interests. I still have no freakin clue what I want to do with my blog, as probably evident from my entries and their lack of consistency. I read mostly fashion blogs but I'm not that interested in fashion -- I like to look pretty, I love shopping, I like girly stuff, but that wasn't my main focus for starting this blog. I'm not ...really sure what my main focus was. I'm not one of those people who has my life figured out, I have barely figured out who I am. I don't always have answers for why I do things or what I want but I know that at the end of the day that I am okay with not knowing. Of course I struggle with it sometimes, there are things I hope I figure out eventually. I know I'm not 18 years old but I'm not dead either, there is no deadline. I don't feel pressure to be this or that because of the amount of years I've been on the earth. I don't feel like when I turn 30 I have to stop wearing certain things, listening to certain things, watching certain things, going to certain places, etc. I think people should do whatever the fuck makes them happy. Oh f-bomb dropping, it's F for EMPHASIS. I see it as the possibilities are endless (well somewhat, I'll never be in the Olympics or be a runway model, I know that much).

I've been inspired by the honest posts that so many of you had made, I know it isn't easy to be frank like this because I literally have a knot in my stomach at the thought of sharing this with you. 

My life has always been a bit of a roller coaster ride but then again I think most peoples lives are. I've had many jobs, most of which I really didn't care for, some of which I wasn't really that great at. I've had people go in and out of my life, some were positive experiences, some were negative experiences - most were a combination of both. I dated guys who were all wrong for me or treated me poorly until I met my boyfriend. When I met my boyfriend I had been through(in close succession) a friends with benefits situation that was really hurtful (I wasn't capable of keeping my feelings out of the situation) and a horrible relationship with a sociopath; needless to say I wasn't looking to be with anyone when I was kinda set up (long story) with my boyfriend. However, we clicked instantly and he was and is the best man I've ever known.  I'm not a very trusting person so I know I can be a hard person to be with or be friends with, I tend to be a bit closed off. I like to socialize but I need my distance from it sometimes because I find it draining in large doses. I try really hard to hide my emotions with sarcasm and humor, if I do display an emotion (besides annoyance, I seem to have no problem talking about or showing someone I'm annoyed with something) to someone I feel a sense of shame afterwards. It is a struggle to share my emotions, open up, and trust people. I feel like if I am interacting with someone I have to be humorous, I don't know why I feel that way, I just do. I don't even know if other people think I'm funny, I just want to hear them laugh, snort, giggle, pee themselves in a fit of hysterics, or see them smile.  I don't have the greatest perception about myself, I just assume everyone thinks I'm a weirdo. I feel like if someone is laughing at something I said they won't focus on the flaws I always feel desperate to hide from them. I guess my main goal in life is to be happy and comfortable with myself, learn as much as I can about anything I have an interest in, see new places, meet as many good and interesting people as I can, and have as much fun as I possibly can; however I am aware that responsibility can trump happiness at times. I guess my point is that life is always changing, sometimes for the better and sometimes not. I still don't know where I'm headed or what I'll do, I don't have this weekend planned let alone one year from now, I know no matter where I go or what I do I will have to do laundry (damn clothes, can't they learn to clean themselves?) and that I'll love cats.

I think we all just want to know that there are other people out there who have and are going through the same things as we have, who like and enjoy the same and similar things, and who find people interesting.  So yeah, I hope this made sense, I feel like it was all over the place. "Wah, stop doubting yourself, WAH". Here is to another blogging year! Thanks for sticking with me, I really appreciate all of your comments and even if you don't comment, I appreciate the read. I am constantly inspired by the blogs and bloggers I read and come across and I hope I can do/be the same.

Saturday, January 14, 2012
Hello, it is me, the sense maker. Not to be confused with the fresh maker, those things are full of life, P.S - his suit looked ridiculous (Old, Mentos Commercial, for those who do not get the reference).


So, yes, I AM starting another sentence in this semi-secretive blog (ninja blog) with "so". You know what I'm going to say next... I regret... yes, you got it *pats head*. I'd give you a lollipop but I ate them all :( I lie, I have no lollipops, anyone have a lollipop? I'll play a guessing game for a lollipop! SO, I had to post because I'm so excited *skips in place while clapping* I went thrifting today! Now, I've been in a thrift store before but never had left with a successful bounty. I was on a mission to find jeans, specifically dark wash jeans because I only had one lowly pair of jeans prior to my outing and I pretty much hate the way I look in them. I also didn't want to have drag my boyfriend along and end up spending $40-$60 on one pair of jeans. A little side note, I don't really love wearing pants/jeans, but is easier to climb on things (like peoples couches or fences outside Government buildings) when your legs are covered. It is just a little thing I've noticed, unless you don't mind showing your butt, which you probably don't because you probably have a nice one. Oh yeah, there she is cheese creep louise. I'm totally kidding, don't get creeped out and think I'm hitting on you and then never read my ninja blog again.


I also found a great three quarter length white eyelet skirt, my ass has outgrown my old eyelet skirt so I needed a replacement model. I'm quite pleased with my purchases, both of the jeans were $7.25 and the skirt was $5.99. I tried on a black blazer that I liked but it was a bit snug in the arms, it also didn't button around my boobs but they have some agreement that I'm not allowed to have jackets fit around them. Back about jeans shopping though, does anyone else get major anxiety at the prospect of going to look for jeans? I absolutely hate trying on jeans and as a plus sized lady, I've noticed that the sizes/fit of jeans seem to vary big time, even at the same store. I literally have pants ranging from 4 different sizes and every single one have a drastically different fit. Part of the reason I am so chipper today is because I tried on jeans, they all fit, and the ones that fit best are the smallest size I can currently wear. Another one of my jean problems is, I always want the expensive jeans, always. Also, I am fond of the back flap pockets because I have no ass and I very rarely find a pair under $50.00. Back flap pockets come at a price it seems, that's what she said. Sweet baby hey-zeus, how many times can I mention ass in one post? But anywho I'm pleased with the jeans I found, they are a bit snug in the waist but all of my other pants are too loose so give and take. I actually went to two separate thrift stores, I preferred the first one which is odd because the second one was huge, like Mormon church huge.


Okay, maybe it wasn't quite this big but everything was arranged by color and somewhat type of clothing but not by size, I found it a bit daunting searching through every single thing. I think it makes more sense to arrange by size and type of clothing but that is just me.

I also organized my closet a little and pissed off Halo in the process because every tank top strap somehow ended up on his face... I don't know how that happened.  I'm trying to come up with outfit ideas for my upcoming vacay and it is a large task because I have to account for something like 15 outfits. Anyone have any vacation outfit ideas for someone who doesn't show their legs or arms? I'm quite proud of myself though, I did almost everything I planned to do today, that rarely happens in slacker land.


'The Debt' arrived in the mail from Netflix today. I am really looking forward to watching it.

I have to share THIS post from Margaret Cho, it is really is an amazing read and honestly had me in tears.


Oh, I almost forgot, my blog turns one year old on the 19th! Even though my blog is in ninja mode I plan on celebrating the occasion with a bottle of wine. "You don't like wine ninja blog? Oh that's ok, it won't go to waste." I sound like an alcoholic but I'm really not, I drink maybe once a month (if that) but don't tell anyone, I need some excuse for this behavior.

Lastly, I want to share some sets I've made on polyvore because I've been a bit addicted the past 2 days. Have a great weekend and please, I need help with my vacation outfits! Tips, give me the tips. JUST THE TIP (Archer reference). One last thing, I am so sick of seeing weight loss commercials. Why is it that the diet industry gets bigger and so do people? The industry does so well because it feeds off insecurities and failure, I'm just saying.

Bow Out


Jem


Under the Moon



Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Gather around the bean bag kiddies, I got drunken stories to tell ya. More to come on that later...

So that took longer than expected/projected/other-word-ending-in-"ed"... I had a friggin cold from the living pits of doomy, Mordor, big eye havin' hell. I'm not fully recovered yet, I still have a lingering cough and a little congestion in my nasal cavity. The word "cavity" gives me the willies, it just does - say it slowly, it sounds ominous - CA-VAH-DEE - I know what my demon is going to torture me with when it decides to go all 'Paranormal Activity' on my ass. I just hope I'm not possessed wondering around in my pajamas for too long because that would kinda suck, especially if I was in one of my more amusing bedtime clothing choices like my glow in the dark 'Toy Story' shirt with aliens that reads "Oooohhhhh." I'm not wearing that right now or anything. No, never. Actually, that would be somewhat gratifying, that is until I possess your automated pool cleaner then you will be cursing me to the high tide heavens.


Perhaps it is too late for me to share tales from my 2011 Holidays but better late than never, at least that's what I always said to the truancy officers in my school days. I've probably mentioned that before but its a good excuse. Make an excuse and stick to it, even when you are 26 years old. Emphasis on old *pout*. I'm kidding, I never understood societies obsession with youth, especially since I gravitate towards the older men. Dylan McDermott, mmm.


I had a really lovely Christmas with my family. My little sisters seemed to enjoy their presents, I do however regret buying my little sister Megan a top since she got almost all clothes and is still at that age when she wants anything BUT clothes. Children *shakes head*. Becky seemed to enjoy her baking books and the bracelet I picked out for her, she baked a recipe from one of the books while we were visiting. Oh and Megan broke the toy I got her in a couple of hours so that worked out nicely...I was in true talkative hyper form and was quite proud of the laughs I squeezed out of every single family member. Victory was mine. We had a lovely dinner and I sat in my pajamas all day, win win. The next day we did a little shopping and dragged Becky around FYE for far too long. My little sisters really seem to miss me although they wouldn't dare say so because the sentimental police might come by and slap them with a fine (We are not an affectionate family, our way of showing affection is something like "what are you wearing... you smell like a donkey farm").

So what did I get? Lots of cool shit. You can stop holding your breath, yes, I got socks - one pair of which have an emotion written on them... oh yeah. I never buy them for myself so I was pleased to receive them.


Admittedly, a few of these things I bought myself like the earrings and sunglasses (Kohls) but the rest was gifted. Requested but gifted, apparently I'm hard to shop for. My multitude of wishlists seem to prove otherwise but I actually very rarely share my wishlists with anyone, I get shy when other people buy me clothes. I was really excited to get the Playstation 3, which I requested after my mother asked me what I wanted, my first request was a cat farm and castle property but I think the budget wouldn't allow that. I got a few other things that are not pictured but this was the bulk of it.


I attempted to take pictures with my stupid brick (droid x) but they didn't turn out so hot since my eyes look wonky and my face looks shiny and puffy. I don't sleep much while I'm over my moms. I do however love this blue sparkly top, it is a shiny. It's a pajama top from Target by the way, it reminded me of an iceberg. Titanic jokes ensue.


I saw 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo' U.S adaption and really enjoyed it. I love the remade 'Immigrant Song' too, it is so kick ass. I hate the expression "kick ass", I don't know why I use it, go ahead... kick me in the ass. I was surprised by the chemistry that Daniel Craig and Rooney Mara had but they did a great job with their roles. I hated the addition of the animal killing because it always makes me sad, I was however intrigued by the fact that this version has a softer, less closed off Lisbeth Salander. I'm not sure how I feel about that, I haven't read the books so I'm not sure how she was written to begin with.


I took pictures before I headed to a house party for New Years and look alarmingly drunk in all of them, even though I was as sober as a church mouse, I also look like crap but that is another issue. *slams fist on table* The flash really hurts my eyes dammsits. I also didn't end up wearing what I have on here, I ended up changing at the last minute even though I sat around nervously dressed in the above outfit for a good four hours. It is somewhat of a hoot considering in a few hours I would be beyond trashed playing with my hair on a bean bag chair. See, I told you I'd get to it.

My boyfriend said I would be in the middle of a conversation and then make some comment about my lip-gloss and disappear for 15 minutes. I kept disappearing to the bean bag chair. I was a very loving drunk this New Years; I was hugging everyone, having conversations with people I've never met, telling people the most random stuff, and saying things like (but not including) "I love you man." It really was a lot of fun despite the fact that I was recalling things I said the next day and shaking my head at myself. You think I have no filter now, you shoulda seen me on New Years Eve... I meant to take pictures at the party but I was sober for maybe 45 minutes. I had forgotten my car was parked at the house party until about 8pm the next day, needless to say I had a pretty nasty hangover and was friends with the trash can for a little bit. We picked up my car the next day and then went over to Jamie and Christina's gorgeous Plantation-esque house they just moved into where we talked for a long time, visited with Christina's bunny and watched it play a game using its mouth, and then played a nightmare styled video game on the Kinect.


Since then we've seen 'Sherlock Holmes 2: A Game of Shadows', saw a house with major mold issues - no wonder it was in our price range - blah, and got some fantastic news! Jason and I are going to Florida and possibly Georgia/South Carolina next month! We will get to visit our best friend, Row and her kids who moved to Florida and see Jason's grandmother, go to the beach, and possibly stop by Epcot if we can afford it. I'm super excited. Jason is going to be off for 17 days so we have plenty of time to drive down there and relax. Hopefully on the way back we will be able to visit Savannah, GA and Charleston, SC. We just confirmed it today and I've been writing lists, doing research, and creating spreadsheets for the bulk of today in preparation. Super yay, I haven't been on a vacation longer than 3 days in years! I'm only worried who will take care of the cats and how they will handle not getting much attention for at least 12 days straight.


I'm also thinking of changing my hair color and style soon, I'm getting really sick of it and my roots are very neglected, like surprise visit from social worker for the tresses department neglected. I'm thinking of going to my natural color that I had for about 6 months at age 13 before I quickly started putting highlights in it. Judging from the 3 inches of root I currently have my natural hair color is a dirty blonde. Mostly I'm thinking of changing it to my natural hair color because I'm sick of coloring it - the maintenance, cost, and stress is not worth it. I'm also thinking of doing a side swept bang because my forehead is a jerk. I was blonde throughout the majority of my life (up until I was about 22) and if it was still the below color I'd be more excited but sadly it isn't. I really like being a red head too so... sad panda. We shall see.

picture of a picture. yes, I'm THAT lazy.
Anywho, I hope everyone is feeling well, try and fight the power and this flu bug that is going around - it is pretty nasty.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Hey everyone, I had planned and still do plan on sharing how my holidays went but I've caught a cold and am going to put myself in personal quarantine till it passes so I'm going to attempt to cut this short while I wait for my boyfriend to get here with soup! Sample convo: "You! Bring me soup!" Oh, romance.

I hope everyone had a splendid Christmas and New Years, as usual I plan on sharing too much about my holidays, I take the motto "sharing is caring" a little too seriously. That might not be the best thing to put out there when you're currently infected with a flu virus...

In the mean time I started watching 'Mad Men' about two weeks ago and have been completely hooked ever since then! If anyone here follows me on Twitter or Tumblr, you might already have a hint at my current obsession. My crush on Jon Hamm is a bit ridiculous and I have literally had a 'Mad Men' style dream every night since I started on the show. I finished all four seasons on netflix instant viewing and am absolutely dying to see what happens in the fifth season, March will not come soon enough. Please tell me someone out there is also watching/watched 'Mad Men' because I have been talking about it non-stop with my boyfriend who isn't as caught up on the series as I am and I'm pretty sure I'm driving him nuts. I really want to start using "Hells Bells Trudy!" as a curse word but I'm pretty sure no one will get the addition of Trudy to that statement but I love when Pete Campbell "curses".



Well before I start breaking down what characters are my favorite, my favorite moments, how many things I'd like to do to Don Draper (c'mon, you know you want to as well), and how many outfits I want to steal from Betty and Joan... I have to say this... my soup has arrived! So I must go but please, fellow Mad Men watchers, discuss in the comments below and watch some chicken throwing on youtube Here.

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